Nadia Addesi

We all develop habits or behaviors over time, often from childhood or experiences with trauma. These can shape how we navigate the world without us realizing it. For example, you might isolate when things feel overwhelming, become a perfectionist to avoid criticism, or shut down emotionally because showing feelings wasn’t safe. These were adaptive strategies that helped us survive difficult situations, but over time, they can hold us back. It’s never too late to work through these things. The first step is awareness. Understanding why we do certain things gives us the power to change. Here’s how you can start: 1. Acknowledge the behavior without judgment: Notice when these patterns show up without beating yourself up. You’re not “broken” for doing what you needed to survive. 2. Challenge the narrative: Ask yourself, “Is this still helping me? Is it still necessary?” Just realizing these habits don’t have to control you can be empowering. 3. Replace old patterns with new ones: Start small. If you isolate when overwhelmed, try reaching out to someone, even briefly. If perfectionism is a go-to, give yourself permission to not be perfect every time. 4. Be patient with yourself: Healing isn’t overnight. But every step forward is progress. Recognizing these patterns and making changes isn’t easy, but it’s a powerful step toward living a life that aligns with who you truly are. You’ve got the strength to grow, and you don’t have to do it alone. 💛@Kourtney • hormones & trauma

Have you ever listened to 528 Hz frequency? It’s often referred to as the “love frequency,” but beyond the name, it’s known for its calming and grounding effects. Research suggests that listening to certain frequencies, like 528 Hz, can help reduce stress, quiet racing thoughts, and promote focus. It can be helpful for unwinding after a long day, staying centered during a busy moment, or even creating a calming background for work or study. It’s a simple way to help your brain find balance when life feels overwhelming. If you haven’t tried it yet, give it a listen and see if it makes a difference for you!

As a therapist, I’ve noticed that people who grew up in families where no one apologized after disagreements and just let time pass often carry that experience into adulthood in unexpected ways. When conflict is ignored instead of addressed, it leaves us feeling emotionally unsafe, even if we don’t realize it at the time. As adults, this often shows up as a deep need to resolve everything right away. You might find yourself over-explaining, over-communicating, or feeling uneasy until you’ve talked things out completely. Even after the conversation, it can feel like things are still unsettled, no matter how much you’ve tried to fix them. Why does this happen? It’s because unresolved conflict in childhood trains your nervous system to stay on high alert. Without healthy examples of repair or resolution, you grow up feeling like tension is a threat, and your body learns to overcompensate in adulthood by trying to control or resolve everything immediately. But here’s the thing—this pattern doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It’s your body’s way of seeking safety. The good news is, this cycle can be unlearned. Healing starts with recognizing where these behaviors come from and gently reminding yourself that not all tension is dangerous. It’s okay to pause, breathe, and trust that resolution doesn’t have to happen all at once. Does this resonate with you?

Anger is often a secondary emotion, which means it’s not the root of what we’re truly feeling. In my work as a therapist, I’ve seen that anger is frequently the result of deeper, unaddressed emotions like sadness, fear, or hurt. When we’re unable to express or even recognize those vulnerable emotions, anger can be the defense mechanism that takes over. Think about it, when you feel sad but don’t feel like it’s okay to show it, anger can show up instead. It’s usually a mask and a way of protecting ourselves from feeling vulnerable or weak. It’s also easier, sometimes, to be angry than to sit with the discomfort of grief, rejection, or fear. But here’s the thing, anger doesn’t resolve those deeper emotions. It just keeps us stuck in a cycle where we either explode or shut down, but never really process what’s beneath the surface. So, how do we heal? The first step is awareness. Recognize that anger is usually a sign that there’s something deeper going on. Take a moment to ask yourself, “What’s really beneath this anger? What am I afraid of feeling?” This can be uncomfortable, but it’s the only way to start breaking the cycle. The next step is to give yourself permission to feel whatever’s underneath. Whether it’s sadness, fear, or disappointment, allow yourself to experience it without judgment. You don’t have to have it all figured out, and you don’t need to “fix” it right away. Just acknowledge it. Finally, self-compassion is key. Be gentle with yourself. It’s okay to feel angry, but it’s also okay to feel sad, scared, or frustrated. By creating space for all your emotions, you’ll start to heal and let go of the anger that’s been protecting what was never allowed to be felt. It’s also important to surround yourself with people who are comfortable with sadness. When we are with others who aren’t afraid of vulnerability, we feel safer expressing the emotions that we often try to suppress. The more you allow yourself to feel and understand what’s beneath your anger, the more you can show up for yourself in a compassionate, healthy way.

As a therapist, I’ve noticed that some of the most empathetic adults often come from homes where they felt unseen, misunderstood, or invalidated. This happens because, as children, we adapt to survive. If emotional safety was lacking, you may have learned to focus on others’ emotions as a way to maintain connection or avoid conflict. Over time, this hyper-attunement to others becomes second nature, often leaving your own needs overlooked. While this empathy is a strength, it can lead to burnout or feeling disconnected from yourself. But here’s the good news: this pattern isn’t permanent. You can unlearn it and find balance. Here’s how: 1. Name It Start by recognizing where this pattern comes from. Reflect on your childhood experiences and identify moments when you felt unseen or dismissed. Awareness is the first step toward change. 2. Ask Yourself What You Need Pause throughout the day to check in with yourself. Ask, What do I need right now? It could be rest, support, or even just time alone. The more you practice, the more natural it will feel. 3. Set Boundaries Without Guilt It’s okay to say no. Remind yourself that setting limits doesn’t make you selfish, it protects your energy so you can show up fully for yourself and others. 4. Practice Receiving If you’re used to giving, receiving can feel uncomfortable at first. Start small: accept a compliment, ask for help, or allow someone to care for you. 5. Show Yourself the Same Compassion You Give Others Think of how kind and understanding you are to those around you. Now, direct that same energy inward. Validate your feelings, honor your needs, and remind yourself that you deserve care too. Healing takes time, but every step you take toward prioritizing yourself is progress. You can still be empathetic while also honoring your own needs, it’s not an either/or.

As a therapist, I’ve seen firsthand how many people struggle with shyness or holding back, especially when it comes to showing their true selves around others. The truth is, this behavior often starts in childhood. As children, we’re naturally expressive and curious. But when that natural self-expression is met with judgment, criticism, or rejection, we can start to internalize the belief that it’s safer to hold back. Maybe you were told to be quiet, or your ideas were dismissed. Maybe you were punished for being too loud, too emotional, or too different. Over time, these experiences can lead to a shift in how we see ourselves and the world around us. We learn to suppress our authentic selves in order to avoid pain or rejection. This doesn’t mean you’ve lost your true self, it just means that, at some point, your brain learned that it wasn’t safe to be fully visible. And so, you adapted by becoming more reserved, quieter, or even introverted. But just because this was a coping mechanism in the past doesn’t mean it has to define you now. If this resonates with you, here are a few tips to start reconnecting with your authentic self: 1. Reflect on Your Childhood: Take time to think about your early experiences. Were there moments when you were criticized for being yourself? Understanding where this pattern came from can help you approach it with compassion. 2. Challenge Negative Beliefs: If you’ve internalized the idea that being yourself leads to rejection, it’s important to challenge those beliefs. Start by testing small interactions where you allow yourself to be more authentic. Notice how people react, not all feedback is negative. 3. Practice Self-Compassion: Being hard on yourself for holding back is only going to make it harder to break the pattern. Instead, be gentle with yourself. Understand that you did what you needed to do to protect yourself at the time. 4. Surround Yourself with Supportive People: Spend time with those who accept you for who you are. Positive, affirming relationships can help rebuild your confidence and sense of safety. 5. Gradual Exposure: Start by expressing yourself in small ways. Share a thought, an opinion, or a feeling with a trusted friend or family member. The more you practice, the easier it will become to show up as your authentic self. Disclaimer: sometimes people are just shy, and that’s okay too! Remember, it’s not about suddenly changing who you are. It’s about unlearning the fear that held you back and allowing yourself to be seen again. Growth takes time, but with patience and self-compassion, you can rediscover that vibrant, expressive child inside.

A lot of the ways we act or think about ourselves today come from experiences we’ve had and experiences that shaped us and taught us to adapt in certain ways to survive. We’re often quick to label ourselves as “shy,” “lazy,” or “too much,” but the truth is, these behaviors are often survival mechanisms we developed to protect ourselves from past hurt, disappointment, or rejection. It’s easier to stay small, keep quiet, or push our needs aside when we’ve learned that doing so kept us safe or made life more manageable. These coping mechanisms don’t have to define us. They worked at one point in time, but we don’t have to carry them with us forever. Start by giving yourself grace. Understand that these behaviors were there for a reason, they were the tools you had to survive. But now you can start choosing new tools. It’s okay to set boundaries, ask for what you need, and challenge those beliefs you’ve held about yourself for so long. You don’t have to stay stuck in old patterns just because they’ve been with you for a while. The key is to be gentle with yourself as you unlearn these responses. Practice self-compassion, take small steps, and remember that healing isn’t about perfection. It’s about progress. You’re not broken; you’re learning to live in a way that’s more aligned with who you really are, not who you had to become to survive. You’re allowed to take up space, to rest, and to ask for what you need. Start there, and know that you’re doing the best you can.

As a therapist, I’ve noticed that people who grew up in families where no one apologized after disagreements and just let time pass often carry that experience into adulthood in unexpected ways. When conflict is ignored instead of addressed, it leaves us feeling emotionally unsafe, even if we don’t realize it at the time. As adults, this often shows up as a deep need to resolve everything right away. You might find yourself over-explaining, over-communicating, or feeling uneasy until you’ve talked things out completely. Even after the conversation, it can feel like things are still unsettled, no matter how much you’ve tried to fix them. Why does this happen? It’s because unresolved conflict in childhood trains your nervous system to stay on high alert. Without healthy examples of repair or resolution, you grow up feeling like tension is a threat, and your body learns to overcompensate in adulthood by trying to control or resolve everything immediately. This pattern doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It’s your body’s way of seeking safety. The good news is, this cycle can be unlearned. Healing starts with recognizing where these behaviors come from and gently reminding yourself that not all tension is dangerous. It’s okay to pause, breathe, and trust that resolution doesn’t have to happen all at once. Does this resonate with you?

Do you feel the intense need to be alone when you feel stressed or overwhelmed? Sometimes, the coping strategies we learned in our childhood could follow us to our adulthood and it can be hard to link the connection. If you grew up in a household where you were not validated or supported when you were struggling, you may have developed a sense of independence to get through things alone & isolate yourself to regulate your emotions and feelings in the moment. While this isn’t necessarily an unhealthy coping strategy it can become a problem when it impacts our ability to communicate with others a as well as process our own emotions. While it can be challenging to reverse this, baby steps can make it possible. The biggest thing to remember is that you are safe in the moment and in your body. If you feel comfortable slowly start communicating your feelings with people you love. This can include emotions of happiness, joy, excitement etc. as well as a way to build up the confidence to talk through all the emotions. It’s also valid to let someone know you need a minute to process before you can continue on. Take some time for trial and error, but remember we are wired for connection and other people. . . . . #MentalHealth #anxiety #trauma #unhealedtrauma #depression #stress #ptsd #complextrauma #cptsd #motivation #procrastination #wellness #therapy #therapist #mentalhealthmatters #socialanxiety #bpd #bipolar #dsm #adhd .

Growing up in a family where emotions were dismissed or minimized can leave a lasting impact. As children, we’re wired to seek connection and validation from the people around us. When our emotions are ignored, brushed off, or even criticized, we begin to internalize a dangerous message: “My feelings don’t matter,” or worse, “I’m too much.” As adults, this can show up as a deep fear of being misunderstood. You might hold back your feelings, not because you don’t feel them, but because you’ve learned that expressing them isn’t safe or worthwhile. Over time, this creates frustration and isolation. You crave connection, yet it feels impossible to fully let others in. So, how do you begin to heal this? 1️⃣ Recognize the pattern. Notice when you’re holding back your emotions out of fear of being dismissed. Acknowledge that this is a learned response, not a reflection of your worth. 2️⃣ Validate yourself. Practice giving your emotions the validation you didn’t receive growing up. Remind yourself: “My feelings are valid, and they deserve to be heard.” 3️⃣ Communicate in safe spaces. Start by sharing your feelings with people you trust, those who show you that it’s safe to open up. Over time, this will help you rebuild confidence in your ability to express yourself. 4️⃣ Challenge old beliefs. Remind yourself that your emotions are not “too much,” and that sharing them doesn’t make you a burden. It’s a form of connection, not weakness. 5️⃣ Seek support if needed. Therapy can be an incredible tool for unpacking these early experiences and helping you feel more comfortable being emotionally authentic in your relationships.

Why do I stay up so late even when I’m exhausted? As a therapist, I hear this question all the time, especially from trauma survivors. For a lot of people, those late-night hours feel like the only time life slows down enough to breathe. If you grew up in a chaotic or emotionally unpredictable environment, nighttime may have been the only time things felt calm or safe. You weren’t getting interrupted, judged, or expected to be “on.” Staying up became your way of claiming peace and control. Even in adult relationships, that same pattern can show up. Maybe you find yourself up scrolling late at night after a long day of caregiving, people pleasing, or navigating conflict because it feels like your time…no pressure, no demands, just quiet. Remember: If staying up late is truly your peaceful time and it works for your life, there’s nothing wrong with that. You don’t need to change what’s working for you. But if it’s impacting your overall health, sleep, or daily functioning, if you’re waking up exhausted and it’s affecting your ability to be present or productive, here are a few tips to help shift that pattern: 1️⃣ Create a mini version of your nighttime peace earlier in the day. Set aside even 10 to 15 minutes where you can fully relax and do something calming for yourself without guilt. 2️⃣ Set a calming nighttime routine. Dim the lights, put your phone on “Do Not Disturb,” or read something soothing to help signal your brain it’s safe to rest. 3️⃣ Journal or reflect before bed. Write down anything on your mind, even just random thoughts, so your brain doesn’t feel like it needs to stay awake to hold onto them. 4️⃣ Start small. You don’t need to suddenly start going to bed hours earlier. Try easing back by 15 minutes at a time to slowly adjust your body to the new schedule. Remember, the goal isn’t to force yourself into something unnatural. It’s about figuring out what balance feels supportive for you and prioritizing your well-being on your own terms. 💛

THERAPIST TIPS HERE: My main physical symptom of anxiety is shortness of breath(explanation as to why this happens below👇🏻) When this happens, I find myself yawning as a way to connect the breath and reassure myself that I can still breathe. It always comes up at the worst times 🙃 So, why do we experience physical symptoms with out anxiety? When you experience stress or anxiety your fight or flight response is triggered because your brain is responding to a perceived threat. This response will activate your sympathetic nervous system and involuntary physical responses will take place as your body prepares to fight off or flee the threat. Some examples include: * Shortness of breath * Throat feeling tight * Pounding heart or increased heart rate. * Sweating/ having a specific sweat smell. * Trembling * Headaches * Stomach pain & digestive issues * Struggling with sleep * Muscle aches * Chest pain * Fatigue How to help: - focus on your senses- what’s around you that you can see, hear, smell? - distract yourself, if safe, pull out a game or something on your phone to get your mind off your breath - move your body! dance around, shake, walk etc Ib: @saltybrethe Remember, this can mean many other things as well including asthma & POTS. Please make sure you do your own research as this is not medical advice. . . . . . #MentalHealth #anxiety #trauma #unhealedtrauma #depression #stress #ptsd #complextrauma #cptsd #motivation #procrastination #wellness #therapy #therapist #mentalhealthmatters #socialanxiety #bpd #bipolar #dsm #

I hope this is a nice break in your feed 🫶🏼 Let’s normalize a normal life